Holiday Celebrations/Greetings

Much luv to all mah peeps out there. I certainly appreciate the holiday wishes you’ve sent to me. I want to do the same for everyone out there in cyberland.
I just returned from a weekend trip to NYC. Big ups to ma boy Onimi. This brova is doing it big in tha big city. He just gained acceptance into the NY and DC BAR associations. Not only that, he’s an associate in one of the top law firms in the country. Look, you’ve gotta be outta this world to be able to pass your bar exam for you to gain acceptance into the two associations all at once. Hmm, pardon me Onimi I just can’t help to laugh. I remember your thick glasses, rumpled uniform and your legs ashy as hell as your tube suck fell to your tiny ankles…lol. Now you’ve traded all that for contact lens, tailored suit and shaved head. Congrats men; mad respect fa sho. Like you’ve always told me, the sky is the limit. I appreciate your support for me when I took my LSAT and helping me through my law school applications.

Anyway back to my trip My girl picked me up from the Greyhound station ***Ya’ll know a brova is seriously deficient in planning ahead. I couldn’t get cheap flight ticket by the time I got around to buy one. So man pikin just settled for the bus jare. After all, I hate flying. Yeap that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.*** on our way back to my crib I noticed a lot of folks driving by with cars full of stuff. Then it hit like “Damn, this Christmas celebration thing has begun in earnest”.
My girl was like “Yes o. If you haven’t shopped by now, you are probably late.”

I don’t know if you got the gist. What I had from her mouth was if I haven’t gotten her present by now, I had better do it in a hurry. So secretly, I made up my mind to buy her present on Monday.

Come Monday morning, I ran out of my office after the morning meeting. Got into my car and started driving like James Bond to the jewelry store. I kinda lost concentration for a minute not noticing the ‘poh-poh’ a.k.a ‘five-O’ ahead of me. So when I saw the car, I slammed on the breaks –then there were a few tires screeching behind me.
The car directly behind me pulled up to my side. The driver rolled down her window. This old white lady must have been 80, 90 or something. Nevertheless, she flipped me the burd and said something that sounded like “Fuck You”. I’m like eww grandma, that’s nasty. I blew her a kiss and wished her a happy holiday anyway. Shit was funny because it seemed like “slow motion’ as she flipped me. I wan die for laugh.
So when I got to the jewelry store, there was an oyibo chic behind the counter. I told her my dilemma. In the process of telling her, I caught sight of what I thought was a floatation device planted on her chest with little nipples on them. Mehn I wanted to commit ‘touchery’ but I reminded myself that I was allergic to Oyibo chics. Besides, dqueenb laid a curse on me. She said that if I ever touch an oyibo woman, I will not only break out in hives but I will feel the scorn and wrath of a mad black woman. So this chic gave me what looked like an engagement ring telling me that it would make my girl happy. I dropped it like a hot coal. I then when to another shop to get my girl what I thought will be cool. I’m not telling what it is but I can guarantee you guys that it is naughty as hell.
Aight I’m back to my office now. I’m getting ready to do this interview. After that, I’m heading to the Naija embassy for my visa. Gat my finger crossed. Hope all works out fine.
Fellas, if you’ve gat that special someone to buy something for please don’t stall on it o. Before she’ll secure that downtown area..lol.
Once again, much luv to all of you out there. Happy holidays! My arms are not long enough to hug you all at once. So I’m sending individual kisses and roses to the ladies. Handshakes for the fellas. It’s been real thus far.