What is OBJ’s stance on this Wahala?

My country people, I hear sey Obansanjo dey vex for British authorities for the security laps that lead to governor Alamieyeseigha’s escape. Okay tell me if I’m wrong o. Isn’t it what my mother would call ‘pot calling kettle black’? As if we have better system in naija.
Whether this is a PR move or a political platitude for him to stand on in his quest for a third term, I’m sure every reasonable Nigerians will be watching closely to see how this guy will handle this issue.
As for me, I’m not inclined to expect much from a guy who has tried relentlessly to skew the country’s constitution just so he can stay another term in office –who knows if it will even end there.
Haven’t we had enough of the crap the government is putting Nigerians through? My friend told me the other day:
“ol boy, wetin concern you concern naija problem sef? You u don raise your right hand swear to serve and defend another man country. U have nothing to worry about”.

True, I was born in the US and I proudly serve in the US Navy but will you blame a man for being concerned? I bet there are Nigerians everywhere who share my sentiment. I mean why I shouldn’t express my concern about the maltreatment of Nigerians going through Airport security in foreign countries? Abi I shouldn’t be concerned about the plight of those young Nigerians who aren’t as fortunate as we are to possess ‘kpale’ or to live in a country where the system actually works.
I guess I shouldn’t expect much from a man who under his regime, 419 has gone sky high and the society has deteriorated into a mob-like society. I don’t blame him anyway because Nigerians allow intellectual lightweights to run the darn country because they have access to wealth they have stolen from the national pot. After all, Alamieyeseigha got home to a heroic welcome.
My response to my friend is that I don’t think it is reasonable for Nigerians to watch a country abound with resources deteriorate into Gotham city.
This is my message to OBJ. Don’t bother about the British security system, worry about the naija man who let the governor into the country. Don’t worry about his impeachment. Investigate the darn thing; follow the money trail and bring those phony governors disguised to hide their true intentions to justice.
Sir with all due respect, I want to turn your attention to the educational system at least. Nigerians everywhere are made to attend college all over again because our educational standard is not sufficient enough. Use our oil money to give hope to the future generation and not allow their future be stolen right before their youthful eyes.
Unite Nigeria! This is your chance to establish a lawful society where they system will give back to the people whom dues are meant to be given. Of course achieving a decent society in Nigeria is a long short but sir, your 2 cents will go along way to set the course to a better country. Our international rep don suffer well well.
Even man pikin no fit get play with these chicks out here because dem know sey we be naija.

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Bayelsa Personals

Name:Mr, Dr. Mrs(whatever) Deprieye Alamieyeseigha

Gender: Male or Female (whichever one I feel like today)

Location: Amasoma, Yenegoa, London or in Germany getting a belly tuck.

Occupation: Hobbies: Embezzlement, money-laundering, lying and cheating

Description:
I am an unimpressionable human being with total lack of concern for the common people through whose mandate I have the privilege to travel to Germany in order to have my tummy tucked.

Pardon my lack of administrative skills but I can assure you that I am well versed in abject incompetence. I must assure you that I have a tendency of breaking the hearts of millions of teachers, laborers, social workers and civil servants heart by stashing their hard-earned salaries in foreign accounts. I take unreasonable vacations at their expense. As for my children, I dare not send them to educational any institution in Nigeria where I have the power to effect changes to enhance the educational standard. I proudly own real estate property in A-List neighborhoods in the United States of America even though I can hardly provide adequate housing for millions of Bayelsans whom I was ‘elected’ to serve – well, lets just believe I was elected into that position; shall we?

Although I preside over a state whose land flows with crude oil that nourish the economy of Africa’s most populous nation, I can hardly provide good road network to parade my luxurious fleet of cars.

Ooops! Lest I forget. I am extremely confused about my gender. It’s a dilemma in which I have come up with a brilliant idea to resolve. I cross-dress sometimes. In other words, I’m a master of disguise. If you don’t believe me, ask the incompetent British security whom I hoodwinked.

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Love and infatuation are the same in the beginning

Tell me. Don’t they all feel the same in the beginning? I’m talking about love and infatuation.
You meet a total stranger for the first time and your heart skips a beat- Infatuation. Nothing could go wrong until the day after your first love making. Then you notice the scare on that person’s face which has been there all the while. He’s too short or she’s too skinny for me…and then heart break follows.
Infatuation is a precursor to love. So why is my friend Chioma telling me that she’ll know her true love when meets him? Her true love may as well end the day after.

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Blind Spot

The morning after. Just the way I had dreamt of it - The sun piercing through the huge kitchen window into my bowl of cereal on the round kitchen table. A smile darted across my lips and quickly fades away. I could smell her scent all over me -her love making. I couldn't pull myself together to read the magazine on the table. I was lost in thought. Still, I was stranded in the memories of last night with her, Yvonne.
She once told me that she walked out of a relationship because the man she once loved had an affair with another woman-but here we were; secret lovers. The fucked-up shit about this situation is that Yvonne is my wife's best friend and I, her boyfriend's best friend. Come Saturday, I would be his best man when he'll be joined in holy matrimony with Yvonne, and I will to toast to them. I'll wish the newly weds a happy married life... Taboo! Across the room she laid fast asleep between the sheets. Her long hair spread across the white velvet sheets. She’s a striking angle. Yvonne is a decent woman but she too had fallen prey to love or infatuation. She’s cheated on her man., my beat friend. I could hardly look at her as she snored faintly. Last night, she was alone in her apartment. Her fiancee was outta town to visit his sick nephew for the weekend. She needed my help to pick out a surprise wedding present for her fiancée. The door was unlocked when I arrived at her apartment. I walked into the living room. She was in the other room.
“Yvonne!” I called out
“ I’m here. You should lock your door you know. There are crazy guys out there. Someone could easily walk in and hurt you.
She laughed.
“I knew you’d be here soon and I was in the shower. I’ll be out soon.” She responded.
“Okay”
I took a seat on her sofa. Soon she emerged from her bedroom in revealing lingerie. She let the lingerie slid down her silky bronze skin revealing her striking silhouette as she stood in front of the lamp in the living room. I must confess. I couldn't stop her as she placed a subtle kiss upon my lips. She knew! She noticed the way I've looked at her lustfully. That moment I realized my discrete stare hadn’t gone unnoticed. She too felt my secret desire to have her. I became a thief that instant –a helpless and shameless thief. I was lost in my fantasy. Lost in some kind of feeling, love or infatuation. I stole my best friend’s heart. I too kissed Yvonne passionately.
Yvonne and I made love as though it was our first sexual experience. We kissed every inch of each other's body; moaned and confessed our secret desires to each other. At that moment, I knew that would be the first of many times we'll sleep with each other- shameless!
I have to call my wife now. I kissed Yvonne gently on her chicks. Got on my cell to call my wife. I wanted to tell her that business meeting I attended last night went very well. I told my wife that I would be in a business meeting in a town 20 miles from here. I lied to her that I would spend the night. I had planned to spend the night with my DL girlfriend, Janet but Yvonne called.
I was wanted to tell my wife how much I missed her and “daddy” will be home soon. The phone rang several times, a man answered my phone. It was Kelvin, my best friend. The man whom I was gonna be his best man. The man I slept with his fiancée last night. DAMN!

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Pardon me while I laugh!

It's just one of those days when time moves agonizingly slow. So I decided to use a few minutes to holler at my peeps out there.
Perhaps I'm just a sucker for the truth or I'm just being plain retarded but I think I should get this thing of my chest for real. To my fellow Naija people who care to stop by and read blab, I hope to hear your opinion about this one. I feel I should take care of a little splurge from my archive of Nigerian issues. I feel compelled to revisit this issue before I let it fade into memory's vault to be forgotten forever.
Okay let me stop with the preamble blah blah before I bore you out. Let's just take a few steps back down memory lane. I'm talking about a short walk back to October 2003. To the point where a poll survey conducted by some British scientists indicated that the happiest people on earth live in Nigeria (did you feel the sharp pain in your stomach too?). Boy did that hurt!
For what seemed like an eternity after I read the newspaper, I cringed in what seemed like a mixture anger and surprise, and then I felt my mouth move. I uttered a few questions. Which Nigeria? On what planet?
I had visited my optometrist a few days before. I had a perfect vision so my sight couldn't have been an issue here. Maybe I had the newspaper upside down. Alas, I'm not being delusional.
Quickly, being a CNN junkie that I am, I hurried to my basement and tuned my TV to CNN. News of such magnitude should make the headline news for sure. For the first time that night, I was right. There it was:
"ACCORDING TO POLLS TAKEN BY BRITISH SCIENTIST, THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD LIVE IN NIGERIA"- CNN news anchor.
The irony of this joke played out on screen like a tragic-comedy movie. Visuals which accompanied the news showed what seemed like black folks in long queues in gas stations in a country which is the seventh largest crude oil producing nation in the world. Women who labored to balance heavy loads on their heads while they secured their infants firmly on their backs with sweat socked wrapper. What I saw in this video clip was poverty stricken neighborhoods, shanty homes spread across the land. Far across the horizon you could see a few sky scrappers overlooking poor shanty towns. I guess that's where the fortunate ones dwell. Perhaps, that's the side of town where the polls where conducted. I refused to believe that these eyes, these eyes of young men and women which wondered in bewilderment, prying curiously into the future in hopeless anticipation are truly happy.
Forgive me if I'm being a little pessimistic here but I beg to defer. I don't expect everyone out there to buy into my opinion on this issue but dare to challenge their conclusion. This can hardly qualify for a joke. Of course they were Nigerians, my girl friend included, who believe that life's happiness cannot be bought with money. True, absolutely true! Happiness is priceless but in the Nigerian context it is worth 150 billion dollars foreign debt. Billions of dollars in foreign banks owned by public administrators and high ranking government officials while banks back home can hardly operate. Need I delve into the Nigerian education system where young men and women, though full of potentials languish at the mercy of administrators who'll rather send their children to foreign schools while they pay their tuition with money meant to run schools in Nigeria.
Okay! okay let me not blow my top here. Let's address this happiness thing critically: One dollar equals one hundred and forty naira.
419 is on the rise not because Nigerians are lazy or too darn greedy. Nope, there aren't decent opportunities to go around.

The presence of AIDS in Nigeria is met with defiant curiosity and lack of government funding.

Lack of infrastructure.

Public schools languish under the dominance of more and well-organized private schools. Where does that leave the poor ones who cannot afford expensive private school education?

Income per capita is one of the lowest in the world. (Gush! here I go again, money isn't everything. Pardon me.)

Road and communication systems are poor.

Ethnic war over oil pipelines

Election fraud

We could spend whole day talking about issues that all amount to a huge disappointment rather than happiness. Nigeria is a country blessed with human and natural resources. Why even buy into a stupid research by desperate scientists who want to make the front covers of newspapers in their developed countries while the true picture of the situation in Nigeria lay unattended. Although this survey may not be an issue, I believe that every reasonable Nigerian would agree that there are lots of issue that need to be resolved in that country. Issues which cannot by any means, shape or form resemble happiness.

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