What a week!

Okay I must admit, no matte how I try, I just can’t find a way not to blog about everyday nonsense that goes on in Nigeria. Giving the way things are going in that counrty, one has to be pessimistic. I’m even considering a career as a columnist on Nigerian affairs. Sooooo, lets check out the madness of the past week.

Atiku moves out of Aso Rock:
According to Nigerian Vanguard online, our honorable Vice President, Atiku, has moved out of Aso Rock just a week from his anticipated announcement to run for presidency.
Errr oga Atiku, the last time I checked, you are still under the mandate of 120 million people who apparently voted you and your boss into power. As far as I’m concerned, you still owe us your services until 2007. Whatever personal predicament you have with OBJ, you should shut the hell up, suck it up and serve the people whom you so hungrily want to rule as a president. Whatever happened to the EFCC’s indictment on this ass hole? Where is the Senate when you need them to impeach these guys and put real people who would serve Nigeria well. My bad! This is Nigeria we are talking about. The political system sucks ass.

IBB faces revolt in the wake of his intention to run for presidency:
Did you hear? Did you hear that the situation in Nigeria is so desperate that no one can do anything about it? So in his infinite intellect, our one time hero, General Ibrahim Babangida (rtd.) a.k.a IBB, a.k.a Maradonna wants to come to our rescue again.
Haba Diego Maradonna! Easy now. My take on this one is that this guy is asking for the bullet that is long over due for him. For ten years you ruled Nigeria. Are you telling me that ten mother fucking years weren’t enough for you to put Nigeria at the crest on economic prosperity? The problem with people like IBB is that they think that Nigerians are mere moppets they can use to their advantage. Things don change my brother. You better chill with your billions or you might pay the ultimate price. Nigerians ain’t fools, you know.

Alameseya’s update
Now this kinda hits home because his daughter and I were schoolmates. The latest on his case is that he has been indicted on 18 counts. His health is failing and things aren’t looking to good for the guy. So let’s pray for him, really guys, yes I’m saying let’s pray for his health.
On the indictments, lets see what happens. Right now I do not know what they are and I doubt if the general public knows either. I wonder if there are laws against bribery and corruption in Nigeria. If so when are they planning to us them?

On a lighter note!
This is a great finale to this blog. All hail our Super Falcon’s for lifting the African nation’s cup trophy for an unprecedented 5th time. Last week, OBJ splashed each player with $8,000 each. That gesture is great for our football; great for our sports.

Finally!

Nigeria President Olusegun Obasanjo

Vanguard again reported that Obasanjo has declared that he will enroll in college after his presidency to lead by example in showing Nigerians that it is never too late to learn. My fellow Nigerians, just seat back, close your eyes and imagine OBJ in a government class. IF he’s awake by the end of the class, I wonder what he’ll say if he was told by his instructor that he’ll have to pay some money in order to pass his class.
Gees, it took this ass wipe more than seven years to figure out that he’s as dumb as a rock. I give you that OBJ. I give you credit for realizing that you need some knowledge in your thick skull. It really takes a man to admit that. By the way, it’s too late for you bro. I don’t think Nigerians have any problems whatsoever to pursue academic education. I think OBJ has failed to realize that he has to establish good educational facilities, infrastructure and system in that country. By doing so, he’ll be able to counter private institutions that have hijacked Nigeria’s educational system. Their services can only be afforded by the rich depriving the less fortunate.

Of course OBJ, you are an ass wipe and I doubt you care!

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More bday pix

Jordan, me, and Victoria

Lee and I

Bigup to Brooks tha Jamican Mafia..LOL!

At this point Laura was drunk as hell and the party is yet to start

 

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Another Milestone

So last weekend was my birthday. Would you believe it, I’m creeping closer and closer to hitting the big Three - 0.…damn! Tired as hell from the long day at the shooting range, all I wanted to do was to chill in my room and sleep. Fuck that party! But my phone won’t stop ringing. Peeps were hitting me up to send their love, wishing me a wonderful Bday. It was 8 p.m and I was about to hit the sack for good and then home girl Ivey calls. Hey birthday boy, what u’ doing?
Nuttin’ just chillin’
Boy are u crazy? Look imam bout to revoke your African American license if you don’t come to your bday party.
Damn I forgot all about that
Uh huh..you probably gat a booty call tonight and that’s why u dissin’ ur peeps. Get your African ass over here right now.

Yo, Ivey is crazy I was’t gonna get on her bad side that night so I jumped into the shower again, and gat ready for the party. Boy it was off tha hook. We all went buckwild.

Anyway, I thank God for yet another year. Life is a journey and I eternally grateful to God for making it thus far.

It was a mad fun weekend. Tha fellas over at the radio station gave a lil shoutout on air. The club was crazy. Grey Goose was flowing like water and the after-party is legendary. Homeboy Lee was in town to see his girl friend who gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. So that was another excuse for drinking..LOL!

Come Monday, hung over, feeling like ten thousand soildeirs marching in my head. I was asked to report to the shooting range again for my tactical training. Arrr! I have to leave my desk. The air conditioned office and out to the hot Cuban sun.

Temeka and Laural reppin' 4 ya homeboy

Da crew, Victoria, myself, Lee, Dre, Jorday, and O'Neal

Dre and I at tha club

Jordan, Lee and Victoria

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Waist Deep

Those of us who reside in the United States may be familiar with a TV commercial featuring a man caught in a quicksand. His teammates, instead of springing to action to rescue him, began a conversation to identify the situation before they could plan a course of action. All along, the poor guy sank deeper and deeper into the quicksand.
This is a scenario which I liken to the state of the Nigerian government. In the past, I have blogged about negative things going on in that country. My blogs were well intended, as every Nigerian wishing the best for our homeland would. BUT, I soon realized that lamenting on the Nigerian fiasco is similar to one who cries over spilled milk. I made a secret vow to offer solutions in any little way that I could rather than blemish the image of our dear nation, Nigeria.
But, that when a president and his vice president put matters of national interest aside for their personal finger-pointing, one is left to wonder what the fate of Nigeria would become. EFCC indicting Atiku is long overdue but I bet there are Nigerians who wait anxiously to see if the likes of Obasanjo and other corrupt public officials would face the same fate.
Democracy is a wonderful form of government. But has it really worked in Nigeria? If you assess the economy, you’d see that its on a downward spiral. Foreign investors are apprehensive of doing business in that country. Its not because we don’t have the resources of qualifies manpower. Much of it depends on those investors who are willing to pay bribes here and there in order to do business in that country. Only those companies from whom they could gain personal benefits can do business in Nigeria.
So dare I ask if military leadership is what would help our country? It appears to me that after seven years of democratic rule in Nigeria, our leaders, especially Obasanjo are waist deep in what I call ‘The Nigerian Hot Mess’. They are still engaged in preemptive stance on how to run that country while Nigeria has morphed into a cannon ball waiting to explode on impact.
Until this point, there isn’t a definitive plan for major issues in that country. Thus far, the whole nation is set ablaze with calls for impeachment of one governor or the other. I must admit that Nigeria has made steady progress on one front – the lines baring us into ethnic groups are becoming blurry. However, the rush to loot government funds has intensified in the wake of sprawling violence in local areas.
It is a crying shame that a president and a vice president of a nation, as eminent as Nigeria, would engage in such shameful bickering. Where does that leave the fate of the nation? I wonder what Obasanjo’s legacy would be at the end of his time in office? Is his legacy one which has left Nigeria more fragile than it was before the civilian regime? Only time would tell. At the moment, we are all caught waist deep in our political and economic uncertainty.

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Much love to Master P

Whoa what a weekend. First of all, much love to Master P and his son Lil Romeo for kicking it with homeboy over the weekend. Lil Romeo headlined a concert for the Navy Exchange’s 60th anniversary here in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. I had the daunting task to of doing the public relations thing with Master P and the BET folks that came down here with them. I 've never met the rapper, so I didn’t know what to expect. Much to my amazement, Master P is quite a textbook parent. Outside the spotlight, you would not believe how modest he really is. This dude is straight up laid back and nice as hell. So is his son Lil Romeo. You would expect him to have a little chip on his shoulders. After all, he's gat the millions. He's gat his own tv show, and he's only 16...Far from it. Dude wanted to get on his playstation instead. He was respectful to everyone he met down here. Master P spent a little less than an hour in his after-party (big ups to ma homeboy Todd Jordan for hooking the party up). Afterwards, he chilled and played cards with us.
Lil Romeo and I



Master P and I

I did ask him (Master P) if he would consider performing in Nigeria. He was ecstatic. He said he loves Nigerians. He’s also a huge fan of Nigerian movies. He said that would be an opportunity he wouldn’t miss for the world. (If only he can truely rap...lol! I go die o!) So all you promoters out there, take note. He's also involved in humanitarian efforts in his home state Louisiana.

Remember this guy?


Rulon Gardner; the US Olympic wrestler who won the gold medal in 2000. He was also in town this weekend. Another nice fella! I may be smilling in this picture but dude has gat a grip like a vice grip but I ain't no pushover either. Know what I mean? LOL!

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A Salute to UDSS Class of 95/96

For the past few months, I’ve been on a leave of absence, so to speak. I had so much going on. I needed to clear my head. Work became intense and then there’s this little thing called 'Master’s Degree' for which I pursue persistently. A collage of all these stresses were talking their toll on me so I had to depart your honorable presence for a while. By doing so, I turned of the reason to hang out with you all - my friends and cohorts. I had turned a deaf ear to your calls to join the daily congregation.

But don’t think I was never here. I still come in everyday to read your blogs and I must say that I appreciate each and everyone one of you for sharing your experiences. I do learn from you. I am eternally grateful. I am glad to be back on the block. Nothing is more entertaining and enticing than a lunch break with you fellas.

OKAY! Now that I’m through with the preamble, lets get down to business. Shall we? There’s a lot happening down under in a country known as ‘Nigeria’ a.k.a Naija (I often say, the gods of the Good and the Bad must reside in that country because amazing things happen there whilst such things don’t happen anywhere else in the world).

I’m on a two week leave back in Maryland. I needed to get away from the political stumping ground in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. So I’ve spent the past week to unwind, lounge around, and party here and there. If you ask me, I’m just hanging on to the twilight of the summer.

Today is Tuesday October 3, 2006. I am on a relapse from all the parties commemorating our 46th Independence(Hurray!). As the effects of the party withered off, I am in dire need for some jolt of entertainment. After all, I’m on vacation dammit!....and I’ve gat a whole week left.

…And then I checked my e-mail the moment I got up from bed around eeeerrrrrrr 11. In my inbox, there was a blast from the past- an e-mail from a high school classmate, Agbani Douglas now Mrs. Akhaze.

So I quickly dialed the phone number she left on the e-mail and called her up. We chatted for a very long time trying to recall our days in high school. Oh how time flies. Frankly it seems like yesterday. But the conversation made me realize one thing. That the strength of the stream lies in its source and what it carries along the way. Sometimes, you have to go back…way back in time in order for you to truly appreciate the strides you’ve made in life.

I also learned never to forget those who were there in the beginning for they are the source of your strength. They are the foundation to your future because they affect your outlook in life thus affecting your future.

So I am caught in the serenity of this moment. In this moment I reflect on ALL of those who I shared those memorable years of my youth with:

Agbani Douglas, Kelechi Dike, Otu Kadana, Ibrahim Jimoh (deceased), Chituru Wodi, Chimene Wali, Onimi Erekosima, Dagogo Erekosima, Uju Ezeamama, Benedicta Elechi, Tambari Kua, Chijoke Didia, Kenebi Okoko, Bio Mangete, Godswill Obomanu, and many others I just can’t recall your names but you are equally important to me.

I thank you all for being a part of my life. Your foot prints left in the sand of time guide my strides. I’ll always carry you with me. I’ll never forget you all!

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Why men shouldn't cry

I thought I should share this e-mail that I recieved from a friend.

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is ok for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killedand eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend outofjail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is offlimitsforever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge isforbidden.However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for anotherman.In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not theweakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may askthe score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have broughtherto climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose offlatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you'resunning on a tropicalbeach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed tokick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos, Ever! Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spiesuntil they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink asmuch as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman mustremainsober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice ofpizza,but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talkingabouthis choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while liftingweights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:i.e.both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, analmost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longerthanyou are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"havecarnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guiltyisno reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussionaboutwhat a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable forherto drive yours.

26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want forChristmas?"with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an XBOX. End ofstory!

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men'sGymnastics.Ever!

BONUS:We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you reallyknowthe difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, thedefinition of each is listed below.

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, beingassaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask,"Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling ofperfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the assand having the balls to say, "You're next!"We hope this clears up any confusion.

Respectfully, International Council of Manhood

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Hope in a Coin Jar

Hot Saturday Caribbean afternoon. Dre, Russell and I are lounging on the patio in front of my apartment overlooking the sky-blue ocean. Dre is on his third blunt and his smoking like a chimney.
Russell checks the stake on the red-hot grill. This new kid called ‘Matisyahu’ is defecating seriously on the mic as songs from his new album, ‘Youth’, comes from the stereo in my living room.
Line after line, Matisyahu is killing me with his reggae, urban, hip-hop tempo laced with political innuendo. I’m feeling the CD and so are my friends. I could tell as we all bobbed our heads to the beat in unison.

And then came the line on one of his tracks titled ‘WP’ that interrupted my ignorance:

….welcome to the desert of my soul
You could stay if you like
There’s room for one more!
There’s room for one more-more!!

Righ then I recalled a string e-mail I received from a friend long ago. I know I didn’t delete the e-mail. I just never got around or cared to take a second look at it. But I know its there, somewhere in my inbox lost amidst love e-mails, bill notifications and chit-chats with friends.
Everybody have dreams of becoming famous, rich or a superstar. I too had a dream. I dreamt about being err-a poet.

By now, as the music kept playing, and I have slipped into day-dreaming. In my reverie, I saw myself upon an accounstic stage in a huge, I’m talking about a massive room with tens of thousands of people.

I was introduced by a baritone voice that came from the giant speaker mounted in the room:

…Ladies and gentlemen, be prepared to welcome
A man who has dazzled us with his poetic dexterity
A man who simple refers to himself as
‘A KING WITHOUT A CROWN’
I present to you IGO

The room erupts into a histerical roar and I waited and savored the ovation accorded to me.
Suddenly, a profound silence seized the room. Then a soft but powerful sound of a drum breaks the defning silence. As the drummer taps his hands on the African drums, the lights slowly dimmed. I was nervous with anxiety. As the drumbeat sinks further into the night, snippets of TV news anchors wizzed through the air and fades almost as quickly as they have come:

..breaking news today….3 million children have died …..hunger….war…poverty…disease….assasination attempt...riot..racism...blah...blah

I was more anxious. Suddenly, like a hole in the celing, a bright-light centered on me bringing with is a warmth feeling of confidence.
I could see nothing else but I could hear applause from every direction.

Today’s poem is incoherent-no lyrical arrangement. Just words from the heart. Just the truth.
You may not like it. After all, the truth is ugly. That’s why nobody likes the truth.

Listen, I’m about to unleash onto the mic:

Today, I celebrate the death of my ignorance,
Through the rebirth of my conscience, I give u the essence of my beginning
So many times, so so often we have seen or heard the news of children in dire situations
But we'll rather watch re-runs of American Next Top Model instead.

Instead of life,
Death in the form war, hunger, civil uncertainty and disease awaits them!
Today is the day death will reposes their lives
3 million of them!
Another 3 million will die tomorrow in a desert in Dafur Sudan
Another 11 million will go to bed hungary accross the world
5 million will be born into this world this year
3 million of them will be born into poverty and disease and war

Walmart made a record profit this year
how come the money is not getting to the needy?
Same goes to Microsoft and all the multi-billion international corporations.
What difference have you made?

While there seems to be no hope around the corner
My eyes have seen
Politicians in their constant state of scramble for the loots

My eyes have seen them plotting in the shadows of their corrupt minds
like constant gardeners
burying the hopes of these desperate children with false hopes

Empty promises puts the hopes of the needy upon flights of broken wings of lies

Let the world know that although I may sound corny when I say that while some people are ‘Living the life’,
Some are dying just to get the crumbs off the foot of their table

I am quick to delete this picture:

" PULITZER PRIZE " winning photo taken in 1994 during the Sudan famine.The picture depicts a famine stricken child crawling towards an United Nations food camp, located a kilometer away.The vulture is waiting for the child to die so that it can eat it. This picture shocked the whole world. No one knows what happened to the child, including the photographer Kevin Carter who left the place as soon as the photograph was taken.Three months later he committed suicide due to depression.

That picture:


What about this one:

Have you seen this one:

....but I kept the photo of a superstar showing of his multi-million dollar home in my inbox.

My eyes have seen the wealthy pay millions of dollars for a scrap piece of painting but won’t donate a dime to charity to help needy children.

I’m finding it hard to see through the eyes of my mind
The reason why some people seek to make weapons to protect their country
while the real enemies:
Hunger, Disease and Poverty are within.

I am astounded to hear when some call themselves civilized.
Civilization, my brother, is accommodating everyone
no matter how small the oasis is.

Give a little
Sometimes it only takes the thought to make a difference

So before I leave the stage tonight,
My eyes have also seen the queens of my life:

DQueenB, Ib, Adaure, Nneka.

I challenge you to use spreed the knowledge through your blog. I want you to tag four people each to blog about world hunger. Share some helpful website for needy children.

Sometimes, it doesn’t take much to make a difference. Hope is only in that doing jar sitting in the corner of the room. It only takes the loose change in your coin jar to feed a hungry mouth.

Do you know it take $80 to feed a whole villege?
So GIVE A LITTLE!! If you soubt me, check some of these charity organizations out

World Vision

Christian Children Fund

Thanks for your time tonight!!

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What in the Iguana is wrong with you?

The first thought that came to me when I saw this animal was ‘over-grown lizard’ and then ‘creepy’ followed. Then we were told that the speed limit around here is 25 mph. For a split second, I thought I was in a Flintstone movie. That is like crawling speed for a ‘James Bond’ like me. The reason for the low speed limit is because the Cuban Iguana is an endangered specie. At this point, I was like sho! Endanger ke? Let them die now. After all, back in stone age when they were a lot bigger than humans, they used to eat our flesh for lunch and use our bones for tooth-pick. They didn’t set up and environmental protection agency to stop the dwindling number of humans. Now the tables are turned and we a protecting them.
One thing about the Cuban Iguana is that you don’t feed it no matter what. When you feed an Iguana, the next time it sees you, it will chase you down. If you don’t feed it then, it will snap at you. Sometimes, they’ll bite the hell out of you. Believe it or not, there have been quite a few incidents since I arrived here. I mean these things come at u at the beach for crying out loud.
Call me cruel but if I where to decide their existence, I will annihilate every single one of them.
For real fellas think about it for a second. Imagine yourself and this fine ass chic at the beach. You get lucky and before you could say “What!’ suddenly u are inside her tearing that punani up. And then this hungry-disgruntled Iguana approached you from your behind. U can’t see it because you are busy breaking this shawty’s back but the Iguana has zeroed in on your hairy left nut long before you took your second stroke. It bites you and clamps to your nut like a vice grip.
You flip to the high heavens with the Iguana firmly attached to your nuts while u are running up and down the beach.

Don’t forget about the poor girl who is totally freaked out because at this point. She feels she may have walked into Michael Jackson’s “Thriller’. Isn’t that shyt just plain embarrassing? Tell me, how do you call the ambulance? What will you say to them?

You: Operator, my nuts o!

911 Dispatcher: Huh!

You: Look – aw-awwww! There’s-aw-an Iguana clipped to my left nut.

911 dispatcher: (perplexed at this point) – Sir, are u okay?

You: No, hell no! I was having sex at the beach with my girl friend and this Iguana bit my left nut from behind.

911 dispatcher: ( laughing at this juncture thinking this is possibly a prank call) – Sir, I’m afraid I may have to hang up now. You have a nice day. We only take emergency calls at this unit. Right now, you may be in the way of a true emergency call.

You: mad as hell – look oga operator, this is a serious –aw-aw- matter o. (You didn’t realize the whole time that there was a big sign posted on the beach entrance “NO SEX AT THE BEACH AT ANYTIME!”

911 dispatcher: Sir do u need help.

You: Duh! Of course –aw—aw, yeasssssssss!

Dispatcher: Where are you sir?

You describe your location and hope to Ambulance arrives quickly.

And then there’s the hospital episode. Your nurse is chuckling on the inside and you don’t even know it. She’s trying hard not to burst out laughing but on the inside, she is rolling on the floor laughing at you and your Iguana still attached to your left nut awaiting the doctor to arrive for a surgery.

Check this out. The girl is your girlfriend’s best friend whom you have denied of having an affair with repeatedly.

How do you explain that to your girl? How can you explain that to your friends? You know they gonna clown at you all year long.

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Back online

Yellooooow my people!! Countryman is back online fa sho. First of all, bigups to the man up stairs. Without him, nothing is possible.

I’d love to blog about other things but I’m sure you’ll understand if today’s blog is dedicated to a special woman named Coretta Scott King.

Bigups to Coretta Scott King, the wife of Martin Luther King Jr., who was laid to rest yesterday. I believe that people of the free world, especially people of color, owe her lots of gratitude. Because without her faith and belief in peaceful resistance, neither you nor I would be here today as free and dignified people.

When most women would have given up or discouraged their man, Coretta gladly sacrificed her personal time with her husband for the freedom and equality for men. When Luther King cried, she kissed him and assured him. When hope seemed faded and the struggle seemed weak, Coretta was the breath that gave our hopes life. 'Beautiful' is not a word enough to describe this woman of virtue. Maya Angelou describe her best calling her the ‘quintessential African-American woman’ In her eulogy, Angelou told a story of a woman who is simply beautiful:

" In the midst of national tumult, in the medium of international violent uproar, Coretta Scott King's face remained a study in serenity. In times of interior violent storms, she sat her hands resting in her lap calmly. Like good children sleeping. Her passion was never spent in public display. She offered her industry and her energies to action toward righting ancient and current wrongs in this world. She believed religiously in non-violent protest. She believed it could heal a nation mired in a history of slavery, and all its excesses. She believed non-violence protests, religiously, could lift up a nation rife with racial prejudices and racial bias. She was a quintessential African-American woman. Born in the small town, repressive South. Born of flesh and destined to become iron. Born a corn flower and destined to become a steel magnolia".
- Maya Angelou

Finally Coretta, you stare into the heavens no more wishing for the day you will be in the bosom of the lord with your husband. We will not mourn you; rather, we will celebrate your legacy. Your death has freed you of the burden of man’s inhumanity to man. May you rest well in the bosom of the lord. May your life-after be filled with joy as you kiss, once again, the man you loved in flesh.

Adieu, mother of freedom. Free at last! Free at last!! Thank God Almighty, we once had you amongst us!

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Another Hiatus!!

Fellas, I forgot to mention that I have been re-assigned to Naval Station Guantanamo Bay Cuba public affairs office. Can't wait to start. I will be there for 18 months. Right now, I'm in a hotel room in Virginia waiting for my flight which is scheduled to leave at 05:00 on Saturday February 4, 2006.
The buck stops here for now, my friends. I'll pick up the pen in CUBA!!

Did I hear SALSA! CALIENTE!! PINA COLADA and CIGAR???

Adoro a mujeres cubanas atractivas!! Fa sho, here I come.

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Mundane to Magnificent Eagles

It seems to me like Nigeria Super Eagles are not only on a mission to win the African nations cup but kill every Nigerian with complicated heart problems. Haba! These guys should not put us through what they did in their match against Senegal again o!

Anyway, they did the job in the end and that’s what matters. BRAVO EAGLES ! BRAVO!!
TUNISIA don enter okra soup!

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Random Nigeria Stuff

You go wound o!

Whoa! Grad school and work is a deadly combination I tell ya. I meant to blog about random Naija stuff this weekend until my homeboy Diara from Senegal somehow found his was into my blog spot.
Its okay, Its cool, I’ll give him the spotlight he deserves. Stressed out as I was on Saturday, I turned onto my PS2 lashing out on Cameroun on this soccer game called Winning Eleven. I was Nigeria and the computer was Cameroun and I helmed the computer up. I’m talking about the game was like 4-0 and I was having a good time until the phone rang. It was Diara. He called from Kansas State University to insult me. This nigg…I mean this “dark-noire black” dude from Senegal is on serious ganja for real. He threatened that Senegal will send Nigeria packing from the African cup of Nations. I wanted to get to him through the phone and smack his mouth shut but wouldn’t wanna waste a good ‘ol ass-whopping on him. This beat-down has Pierre, my friend from Cameroun, written all over it. Quite frankly, that’s the only team in that tournament that I’m worried about. HOWEVER, I felt it was necessary to set this guy straight. So I went on search of the materials that I needed for this guy.


So Diara, here’s your 15 minutes of fame okay. They call your Senegal National team “Teranga Lions”…hmm, well I call them “Teranga Cubs”. I have the right tool to shave your mien so we can see just how small your team is.

Look Diara, you should feel privileged that I am using this machete to shave your mien. The last time I used it was on a good team like Cameroun

You see this boot?

Get used to it because it’s gonna be all up in your team’s ass come Tuesday.

O before I forget, I have your flight itinerary for Wednesday Morning:

Departure time: Airline Sosoliko flight 419 departs Cairo, Egypt at 4:00 am for Dakar, Senegal.
Arrival time: Arrives Dakar whenever, I don’t know.

Homeboy, we had a pact that we wouldn’t speak to each other about this tourney until its all over but you just can’t wait patiently for your ass whopping. Aiight, this is how its gonna be. Its gonna be bloody on Tuesday. I mean, your team gat the Super Eagles on a bad day. Revenge in a mofo and we’re sure gonna beat your team for that little slip up we had in Mali 2000. Here, I have a poster for your wall. Better yet, put it on your desktop wall paper:

I'm sure you've seen them in you nightmares before. Well Deja Vu!

No be me o

Now that I’ve put this dude in the right place, I’ll like to take ya’ll to a place in Portharcourt city called Stodiez. Its along Abacha Road in Portharcourt. This joint is one of many fantastic spots in the city. Lots of peep always coming through for some fun. The DJ is off tha hook, and there is a resident ‘aboki’ for endless supply of suya. So one evening, some of my boys and I went to this spot to chill. It was early evening, the temperature is just perfect. Ladies, looking like damsels everywhere (I just noticed them o. I no touch any booty). Fellas trading their latest hook line just to get lucky for the night. The vibe was right. I mean that spot makes you feel ire, ya man. The DJ was blazzin' the new tune "Bizzy Body" by this R&B group in Nigeria:

....I just dey with my friend from America wey get money

and for my front na esi-ewu and turkey

plenty bobos just dey make their noise (heeey!)

enough chicitos just dey make their choice (one more please)

as I dey wash my hand

everybody begin to run....

- P Square

So my high school hommie Didia, nick named Pastor, came to the scene, flashing his new Land cruiser. So I asked him why he was late.

Me: Didia, whats up men? You are doing it big o.

Didia: Well thank you my broda.

Me: So wetin take you long time to reach here? You called me like 3 hrs ago that you’d be here in 15 minutes.

Didia: Men, I wanted to be here as soon as I could but on my way out of the church, I noticed Satan crying at the foot of the steps. I walked over to him to inquire about this unusual scene.

Didia: Satan, what are you doing over here crying? You know Jesu (Jesus) will be upset if he sees you here. The last time you came close to this place, 5-0 gave you a ticket for trespassing. Whats the deal with you men?

Satan (still sobbing): I want to see Jesu, I really have to see him…sniff..sniff!

Didia: Why?

Satan: Because everything wey happen, dem go blame me. Babangida thief money, dem blame me, I no talk. Abacha do him own, dem blame am on me. Still,I no talk. Now Alameyesia don do him own, Jesu called me yesterday to tell me that it was all my fault. If I was involved on these embezzlement, don’t you think that I would have made enough money to move out of hell?...sniff..sniff.

Men we all went berserk, laughing our asses off.
So this girl from Somalia, a waitress at this spot, came to take our order. My friend Grant wanted to spit game to her because she was ridiculously pretty but the chic didn’t give him a time of the day. Of course Naija boys will always find something to say. Didia was like:
“Leave this girl alone. You no know sey that girl is so close to God, she could touch his long white beard.”

“How do you know that,” I asked.

“Look this girl has been starving all her life. I mean she’s been starving for a better part of the past 25 - 30 years. Jesus did it in 40 days and 40 nights but I bet you, this girl has that record smashed over and over. All she needs to do is to add prayer to that long starvation and Walla, she will be in the sight of the lord.”

The word of the day is “Flash”

Now here’s an important one for those of you who will travel to Nigeria in the nearest future. I guarantee you that this will save you at least one hundred bucks. As you know, Nigeria is one of the largest cell phone markets in the world. The reason to this is that they have no calling plans. What they have is this pay as you talk thing. That shit is expensive as hell.
So Nigerians devised a means to get around it. This is what they call 'flashing'. Flashing is when someone has just enough credit to dial a number. When he calls you, he'll cut off the phone at the precise moment before he gets charged for their credit, The idea is that you will call back and he doesn't get charged for the call.

By the time I realized it, I had made phone call worth over 200 dollars in 5 days. So I had no choice but to master the art of “Flashing” Now, I cannot get it out of my system. Like last night I was looking for my cell phone because I was on my way out. Instead of calling the phone so that I can find it when its ringing, I flashed my dammed self. And then I sat there wondering why my phone hasn’t called me back. So keep this in mind, it will save you some money for real. It was Didia who inquired about my sexual eploits in Nigeria.

Didia: "Igo, as you carry your big body come, na so you go carry am go back America?"

Me: What do you mean?

Didia: look, I've known you for many years now. Don't turn this good boy thing on me. If you no fit get babe, I go fit take you go one joint for GRA so that we go get 'rent a friend' for you. We no dey call dem ashawo again for here o. We don modernize their title now. We call them 'rent a friend'.

HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS GROUP CALLED ‘P-SQUARED’? I’ll blog about these fellas later. This R&B group in Nigeria is off tha hook.

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Want some?

Who tha fuck else wants to step to tha Super Eagles of Nigeria? Those boys are doing the darn thing in the African cup of Nations. Pundits can put their crystal balls away. Refs can do whatever they want to do but they can't stop us. Cameroun and Senegal, ya'll better watch out!!



NIGERIA 2-0 ZIMBABWE

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Just and observation: Ol’ Boy loss the fake accent!

Wow! It’s good to be back for real. I hope that I’m not advertising my Naija trip too much. If you feel that I am, please hit me back on my comment section or forever hold your peace...HeHe!! I go die o! In case you haven’t noticed, I don upgrade my pidgin English well well after this trip.

Where was I? Ehe, as I was saying, I went to obodo Naija…lol. I had a BLAHHHHHHHHHAAAASST!

Say what!

There are series of stories to be told, but I'll take it one blog at a time. Some are serious and some are just 'by the way' kinda thing.
Anyway, I arrived at PortHarcourt International Airport -Those of you who have been to that airport should probably be laughing by now. Cuz’ that piece of shyt should have been called 'Portharcout International death-trap farmhouse’. The plane dropped us off on the runway and we had to walk to this single room they called the terminal. I tell ya, the short walk from the plane to that room felt like hell. It was so darn hot. I felt like we were pretty close to hell’s entrance.
My Jamaican friend would say something like “Bom-ba klad man! me fe know dis place hat like this man! Lorry-lawd of marcy!
I was sweating like I had a fireball up my ass. When my family came running towards me, they probably thought I was ecstatic seeing them after such a long time. What they didn’t know was that I was at the verge insanity. The tears in my eyes weren’t emotional ones at all. I was crying because they were holding me back from running back into the plane…lol.

My first prayer in Naija was a request to God to install an air conditioning unit in Nigeria plus token money for NEPA so that there would be constant electricity.

***Oya e don do aje butter! ***

My fellow country people, you know there are Nigerians who visit naija and come back with all the horror stories in the world while they have this constipated look on their faces as if they haven’t taken a dump in years and you wonder if these guys are Nigerians at all. I think I’ve discovered the reason why such people have this revulsion about Nigeria.

This is a true story:

Meet one of my random naija friends from Maryland *** I will not mention his name here to avoid possible libel lawsuit. Not like he can get a penny out of me anyway *** lets just call him ‘O’l boy’.

STATS

Education: School Boy (community college)

Years in obodo oyibo (America): Got off the boat in 2002

Living condition: I won’t go tell. You won’t hear it from me at all.

Residence: studio apartment, Somewhere, Maryland

Fashion/style: mofo can hardly dress or speak properly. He looks like a pack of skittles with his fake ass throw-back jersey and tilted baseball hat.

My driver, Victor (by the way, this guy is the coolest guy in town), handed me a GSM phone which my sister set up for me. Quickly, I called O’l boy who arrived several days before me. He answered the phone with this accent, which I thought was a pretty good imitation of Kinta Kunte speaking English for the first time.

Me: “Ol’ boy I don come o”.

His response: “Yo kid, glad you made it safely curz”.

At this point, I realized there were a few people with him because of the voices in the background. That would explain the reason for his sudden Americanism. Well, I told him that I had just arrived. I was also curious to know what stories he had to tell.
He was like “Yeah son, I’m gonna chill with my peeps for a minute. Yo, I stay at Aspire hotel in D’Line you feel me? This mofo is a dump though, I’m just patching up over here until I get back home to tha States”

I could imagine his friends on the background looking at him awestruck thinking to themselves that this guy has it made. Meanwhile, O’l boy dey patch up for studio apartment for America o.
I though to myself “O’l boy make you take am easy o. You go wound o”.

Meanwhile the driver and I searched for tha hottest suya joint in the city. I got my aboki suya before I got home that evening.

Fast forward two days later…

The door bell rang at about 10 am and my niece answered the door. It was the gateman. He said there was a gentleman at the gate who wanted to see me. It was O’l boy. I asked him in, ran to the bathroom to freshen up. I was still high with shayo from the previous night’s party. When I got into the living room, O’l boy had planted himself on my favorite seat remote control in his hand. There was a chic seated on his lap (I must confess, this girl is off tha hook). He proceeded with this accent thing coupled with matching gangster-like attitude. Of course he had the over-sized gear, du-rag and a baseball hat. But he had this scowl on his face. I couldn’t figure out if the grin on his face was as a result of the alarming heat outside or the weight of the girl on his skinny legs. I swear the AC in the room could do little to cool him down. I could bet on my nuts that this guy must have been on fire cuz’ it was hot as hell outside.

To cut a long story short. This guy ran out of money within a week. He still had 2 weeks left on his trip. His entourage dissipated in a hurry. With is fake ass accent and attitude gone with his friends, he came asking for help from me. He needed a place to stay so I offered him a room in at my crib.

In the end, he had nothing to offer but a few illusions which he was able to create in the minds of the few people who where around him. Illusions of untold riches here in America; but he forgot the minor details about his plight here in America.

You see, his parents reside in the village where there neither electricity nor portable water. They can hardly fend for themselves. Yet this young man who was fortunate enough to obtain an American visa through this lottery stuff was unable to fend for his family when he could. He failed to utilize that opportunity. Rather, he sort to boost his own ego by making people around him feel smaller than he is. In the end, he only lied to himself and he returned to the states with his face in his hands knowing that the little change that he would have offered his parents would have gone along way in helping their plight. He soon realized that his phony friends are no friends at all. They are all hound dogs looking for what to gain from him.

That, my friends, is exactly the type of mentality that his hurting our fellow Nigerians, especially the ones who hardly expected the opportunity to be here in America or Europe.

I was born her and I have spent half of my life in the Unites States, yet I find it imperative to embrace my culture. If possible, to share knowledge and awareness to those who are not as fortunate. Truly, there isn’t anything which suggests that if they have the same opportunity that I have, that they wouldn’t do better than myself. If I may ask, what could be more important that your identity? Whenever you have the opportunity to embrace it, do not hesitate because that may be your only chance to do so. Putting yourself on a peddle stool without adequate support will only result in you crashing down to earth face down.

There are Nigerians who are caught in the euphoria because people flock to them for the fact that they have just returned from a white man’s country. They attain this “higher than thou status”; they love it, get intoxicated with the dollar power and they get a blast out of making folks back home appear smaller. What people don’t realize is that such people can hardly feed themselves back in Europe or America or wherever they reside. Oftentimes, the money they take home is obtained from their credit cards or bank loans. They give the young ones at home false hope. Make promises they cannot fulfill. These are the kind of people who return with all the disparity because towards the end of their visit, they have fallen from grace.

Embrace your people and your culture because you miss it and that’s why you went home in the first place. O’l Boy, start by loosing the phony accent.

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Back on the Block: to my favorite bloggers , I missed you

The alley where we meet during lunch everyday is cold as a dungeon without our daily chatter. I await my cohorts. The skyline is grey. Cars honking their horns, the streets look busy-humans and cars going in every direction here and there. Down the alley is dQueenb heading my way. In her striking silhouette, she walks with an air of reckless abandon yet poignant and riveting with her stories. I could listen to her talk all day long. Somehow, she has God’s favor on her side for she has the most remarkable command of metaphors and vocabulary which will caress your imagination, make you laugh and cry in the same breath. I can’t wait to hear what she has to say today.

Walking behind her is Nneka. Controversial as hell and forever edgy. A true Nubian queen with unmistakable beauty. Keen as the eyeball on the dollar. Her lurks pulled back leaving one strand dangling over her right eye revealing her stunning face. Her winter jacket doing little to hide her stunning features. Lawd knows what emotions she would stir up today. Nevertheless, I missed her like crazy.

Ahh is that 'so-obscure' is see walking down the strip? Yeap, sure is. This brova is mad cool and always on point with his views on issues. I missed you bro.

My cell phone rings, its Adaure's call. Busy as usual but she promised to be her on time for the gathering.

Hmm, slowly but surely the crowd keeps getting bigger. The chatter grows louder. These walls cannot hold us back any longer. We must change the world with only our voices as our weapons.

I'm glad to be back after a long holiday trip to Nigeria. The year is new; the terrain familiar. Faces so often new and my friends are more. I’m glad to be back on tha block. I'm glad to share my lunch time with you again.

THERE ARE STORIES TO BE TOLD!!!

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