I thought I should share this e-mail that I recieved from a friend.
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is ok for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killedand eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend outofjail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is offlimitsforever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge isforbidden.However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for anotherman.In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not theweakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may askthe score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have broughtherto climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose offlatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you'resunning on a tropicalbeach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed tokick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos, Ever! Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spiesuntil they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink asmuch as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman mustremainsober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice ofpizza,but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talkingabouthis choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while liftingweights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:i.e.both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, analmost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longerthanyou are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"havecarnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guiltyisno reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussionaboutwhat a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable forherto drive yours.
26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want forChristmas?"with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an XBOX. End ofstory!
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men'sGymnastics.Ever!
BONUS:We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you reallyknowthe difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, thedefinition of each is listed below.
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, beingassaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask,"Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling ofperfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the assand having the balls to say, "You're next!"We hope this clears up any confusion.
Respectfully, International Council of Manhood
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is ok for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killedand eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend outofjail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is offlimitsforever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge isforbidden.However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for anotherman.In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not theweakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may askthe score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have broughtherto climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose offlatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you'resunning on a tropicalbeach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed tokick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos, Ever! Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spiesuntil they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink asmuch as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman mustremainsober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice ofpizza,but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talkingabouthis choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while liftingweights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:i.e.both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, analmost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longerthanyou are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"havecarnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guiltyisno reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussionaboutwhat a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable forherto drive yours.
26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want forChristmas?"with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an XBOX. End ofstory!
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men'sGymnastics.Ever!
BONUS:We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you reallyknowthe difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, thedefinition of each is listed below.
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, beingassaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask,"Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling ofperfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the assand having the balls to say, "You're next!"We hope this clears up any confusion.
Respectfully, International Council of Manhood
Have you seen this one: